When Being an Educator is the Family Business

Marc A. Wolfe: Mickey, what I know you mostly for is your consulting and certified executive leadership coaching that you continue to do. So, Mickey, let’s talk a little bit about how you use your personality to kind of just work through what other people’s, “yeah, buts” come at you with all the time in education.

Mickey Burnim: Well, education, I have, have said, uh, in describing myself upon occasion is my family business. My parents were both educators, and both my sisters became teachers and were therefore educators as well, and I see some of that carrying forward to the next generation.

So education, I like to say, is our family business, and you know, that’s appropriate, I think, because I see the difference that good education has made in the lives of my family members.

And I I know that for people who who come from disadvantaged backgrounds who are seeking to make a better life for themselves or their families, how they can do that, in that, in way that serves others, and so I want to help the students and families of students, who are seeking a better way for themselves.

And so, that has been the overall approach in my higher education career. If I’m serving as president or vice president, and I’m leading in a way that makes the institution in which we’re serving better and more effective. And that it reaches out to more people that it extends opportunities them and that the culture, the processes, etc. are all geared towards helping people to succeed, achieve their objectives, to earn the education, degree, the certifications they’re seeking, and then and to go on to have good economic and personal results as a result of the educational experience.

Marc A. Wolfe: So let’s, let’s talk about some “yeah, buts”.

I think one of the ones you mentioned, I don’t know where to start. Mickey, tell us a little bit more about how that was a “yeah, but” for you and how you worked through that.

Mickey Burnim: Well, that, that pertains to my writing a book. And, uh, as I neared the end of my career, I noticed, I and I started telling people, I’m going to retire soon, or after I had announced the retirement date, people said, well, you should write a book.

I had two or three people, different institutions say that to me. And, uh, on top of that, I thought back over my career and all that I had done. I had a chance to lead two different universities for 11 years as the president or the chancellor, the CEO titles.

And so I wanted to share at least my approach with with others and let let people kind of take from that, uh, what they might actually lead to their having a big success. My writing to that point, had been been some some academic writing for the journal, writing for, writing speeches as president, as president and chancellor I had to give a lot of speeches. Those kinds kinds of things, uh, didn’t serve, it seemed to me as a good background or experience for writing. So I was just not quite sure how go about it.

Marc A. Wolfe: So you had an opportunity, people told you you should do it. You didn’t really have all the experience of writing a book.

So how did you overcome this “yeah, but”?

Mickey Burnim: My tendency is to not procrastinate, and so I started writing, sharing them with people. Turns out they weren’t very good. They did not did not, um, excite anyone.

And in fact, I kind of found the approach a little boring myself. So I said, well, that approach does not work. One thing that happened is that my wife said to me one day, you know I was I was looking at this catalog of courses for senior citizens, people 55 and over, offered by the community college in our county. And one of the titles is creative writing. IAnd looking for things to do, I decided to sign up for the class. Lo and uh, lo and behold, I learned what memoir writing was, I thought that’s exactly what I had in mind, and that’s the approach that would make a real difference. And so, that helped me get over the initial, “yeah, but” how do I start?

Marc A. Wolfe: What happens when one of your “yeah, buts” is what’s the plan? So tell me more about that.

Mickey Burnim: Well, even after I came to realize that I wanted to write a memoir, uh, then a whole set of new questions arose. Um, how do you go about writing the memoir? I mean, exactly what is a memoir? I know that it, it’s, it’s one’s personal story or some aspect of one’s personal story, but how do you decide which experiences to include in the book? How do you know what would interest folks to you? Do you start with the key leadership points that you to emphasize and then tell stories around those points or do you start with a comprehensive list of the attributes and characteristics of successful leaders from your experience and then sort of share that? All of these were questions that came in my mind and that it’s just not immediately obvious how, how to proceed. And in fact, once you actually write, the start writing, how do you ensure you’re getting feedback? Honest, candid, helpful feedback on what you’re writing? Once you get it published, what process do you follow in going through with the distribution?

I decided to to take advantage of the class that I had signed up for, because that class had several other students like myself, who were learning to do memoir writing. And once a week class, it provided us the opportunity to write something, get feedback, but it was feedback that was positive in nature, uh, and that was encouraging. I decided I will take that process and put forth by the class and use that to write sections of the book And so that way, shaped the plan, but continued to reshape it as I learned more about memoir writing, as I got feedback from those who were reading drafts of little pieces I had written for the class.

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It’s interesting, you know, Mickey, that, you know, you didn’t have the full plan when you first started from the beginning to end, right? It’s an evolution of over time. And what I’m also hearing you say is that you had some structure because there was some community, there was some accountability, there was some repetition, right?

There was a, there was a habit built, right? So there’s so much more that comes out, but. If you would have done it on your own in the beginning, you still would have potentially needed these things, but they happen to come together at an opportunity when you went to a class locally and when you did go and meet other people.

I think too many people miss in they’re, “yeah, but” like they have to see the whole plan before they even start. And it sounds like, which happens with many people, the plan evolves, adjusts. And gets refined over time because even the perfect plan is not the perfect plan. It’s always going to get changed

Mickey Burnim: Absolutely.

Marc A. Wolfe: Your other, “yeah, but” was, “yeah, but…somebody already did it”.

So what, you know, when you say those words about somebody already did it, tell me about what you originally thought that was a hold back or like, uh, why me, or why does this matter and how you work through that?

Mickey Burnim: Well, as I learned about memoir writing, I learned that I bought some books. So in addition to going, participating in that class, I also built a small little library on memoir writing and, and read what others had said about it and read a few memoirs, and I came to understand that a memoir has a theme, and that theme is pursued through the life experiences of the writer. What I wanted to do was to a share a portion of my life but with a focus on leadership, the leadership aspect of my life, because that’s what I had had in higher education.

And that’s where I thought the lessons learned would be beneficial to others. And so, um, as I started to think about that, I thought, gosh, leadership, you there’s hundreds, thousands of books written on leadership. Probably hundreds written every year.

So world does not need another leadership book, certainly not one that just talks about the principles, guidelines for good leadership, etc. Because there are plenty of those out there, I use a lot of them as I was developing my own approach and dealing with my leadership opportunities. But what I could do, and what the memoir approach afforded me, was a chance to tell my story and to emphasize some of leadership points or experiences, and that would make it unique.

And I could write it in such a way that it was interesting and held people’s interest as they read through it, then I could share some of those experiences in the context of what I believe are most important principles of leadership, and therefore perhaps have it be instructive.

Marc A. Wolfe: But your unique perspective on things is really the critical thing, because some people can talk from an academic standpoint and still not have what you have, what you went through, why it was important to you and how people can apply that. That’s the beauty of our individuality and how we can use our story to help people that we wouldn’t think we could. I’m sure you’ve already gotten stories back from people who have read your book.

Mickey Burnim: Yes, I have.

Marc A. Wolfe: Because they were just like, and they’re not just platitudes. People literally are like, I never knew this. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Wow. I see there’s hope because, you know, it’s, nothing’s new under the sun, right?

Mickey Burnim: Yes.

Marc A. Wolfe: So it’s um, so what do you, what’s your advice to tell other people that are paralyzed by fear when that “yeah, but” comes up that it’s been done before?

Mickey Burnim: Well, first thing when one is dealing with fear, usually that fear is not nearly as challenging an issue as we think. And so the most important step is to move beyond. It’s to attack it, to approach, to go forward with what it is that you’re determined to do.

In the of the believer in the case of one perhaps may not have that that kind of faith, it’s still important to take a step, to get off the time, and to initiate something. Even if you start out and you discover that you’ve taken the wrong approach and the approach is not going to work, you can always make a pivot and start again. Many, many successful people have failed many times before they succeeded. And so the biggest problem is not doing anything.

Marc A. Wolfe: Thank you for listening to The Yeah, But Podcast. If today’s episode provided valuable perspective on how to overcome the excuses that can hold you back, let us know in the comments. Remember, it’s not about the “yeah, buts”, it’s about finding ways to live, learn, and lead better every day. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who could use a little kick to get past their “yeah, buts”, and don’t forget to follow us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and for even more tips, connect with me at marcawolfe.com/podcast or on LinkedIn. Until next time, keep challenging those excuses and keep moving forward.

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